Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Up and down...

I just can't seem to get it together with blogging this year. Since the puppies were born I just sort of dropped off of my blog and for that I apologise. The last of the puppies went to their forever homes two weeks ago now, excluding Odin because we are keeping him, so since then we have been transitioning him from being a litter member to a family member of the household. And for some reason I decided it was a good time to potty train Reegan so I have not only been running around after a toddler but a mischievous puppy too, feeling like I'm just trying to get everyone in the house civilised enough not to poo or wee indoors. Lol.

In my last post I mentioned that I am currently very happy. That is still the case but it's just a little more complex than that. For five years I have lived without sleeping pills or anti-depressants and I was feeling pretty confident in my abilities to function without them. But lately my cycles have been pretty intense, causing erratic and shocking mood swings. In the throes of these negative waves I have frightened and shocked myself. I have felt the urge to self harm and behave in other self destructive ways, feeling as though I should punish myself to gain control over these emotions. The thing is, when I'm fine, I'm completely fine. When I'm not I'm at rock bottom again. In one of my more severe mood swings I called my mother in a panic and she drove and hour to me just to get new to stop crying, and convinced me to go to the doctor. Who thinks I have PMDD - pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder- basically a severe form of PMS. So I am trying out just taking anti-depressants during my PMS symptoms to see if that helps.

Who knows. I'm writing this in the middle of the night because I have a stinking cold and my dear other half is snoring his pretty nose off. Good to be back though.

12 comments:

  1. Nice to see you back! Sorry to hear that you are dealing with some health issues, I am glad you went to the doctor. Hopefully you are feeling better soon!

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    1. Thankyou. Hopefully things are going to start improving now

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  2. Awww sorry to hear about your troubles. Good luck with the potty training. Feel better soon!

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    1. Thanks. Have any potty training tips? ;)

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  3. Wow, a baby and a puppy! You are definitely busy! Is mum dog sick of him yet?

    I am sorry you suffer from this. I always had awful mood swings before the pill. I hope the antidepressants help!

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    1. Yeah pretty busy! Mummy dog has pretty much turned back into a puppy herself, they just play 24/7!

      Yeah I had mood swings on the pill too. Hormones are just my weakness. Lol

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  4. Honey, I have PMDD and I feel your pain. I can swing from being on-top-of-the-world happy to I-hate-everyone, including myself, and-everything-sucks. It's really weird because I can see the freight train of emotions coming from a mile away and then WHAM! I'm in the middle of my PMDD -- getting my period on Sunday -- and last night was the worst. I'm not on meds, so I have to be very aware of what's going on and careful not to do anything stupid ... like cut all my hair off, which I've done before. sigh ... Thank Goddess for Ed.

    If you need to talk to someone who has this, please consider emailing me or Skyping me. You're not out-of-control and don't punish yourself. It's your hormones and they're creating chaos. Seriously, I'm here for you.

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    1. Wow. It's really great to hear of someone who has the same thing!! That's literally how I feel too. It would be really great to talk to you about it.

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    2. Please email me and I'll send you my Skype information. :)

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  5. XD sorry to say that the last sentences made me giggle... Besto of luck on getting those two new family members to pee in places where it is ok!

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    1. I'm glad that made you giggle! :) we are getting there now thank goodness.

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  6. I'm sorry to hear you have the swings, but at least you have the good parts too. I hope you can get it all figured out, hugs!

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