Monday, 21 September 2015

Your green hair isn't pretty enough

Colourful hair is a lifestyle choice.


So I wanted to write a proper post about having brightly coloured hair. I did write a post about my hair journey before, so check that out if your interested  (also you can laugh at old embarrassing photos of me!) But I have never really spoken about the impact my hair choices have made on my life. Whenever I talk about it with people, I always tell them that having *instert current colour here* hair was a real commitment and a definitive life style choice. Aside from the obvious risk of damaging your hair and possible DIY disasters, you do put some things at risk when you choose to go bright.  

Firstly, when you want to go a very bright colour, you have to take the time to bleach it at least once all over (for me three times) and then commit to having your roots bleached every inch or so. This is unless you naturally have very light hair, if so, I'm jealous of you! But for me this is maybe every 8 weeks or so. Once you are bleached, you have to colour it several times in order to attain a really vibrant tone, if you only do it once you will probably be very disappointed with a mediocre or worse result. I have had so many people tell me after bleaching they coloured it once, it looked crappy and they had "ruined their hair" and almost immediately went back to their previous colour. You just have to have a little patience. After that you might have to dye it every single week to maintain it. I only dye mine every other week now, but I also only wash it twice a week at a push. I also have abandoned my hair dryer in favour of gentle natural drying (my favourite way is to wear pigtail plaits when it's wet, the next day it's soooo mermaidy) and I straighten my hair rarely. Heat styling will further damage my hair and fade the colour  ( as will sunlight. Hiss!)  My hair also bleeds colour when wet, so I wear a hairband on my hairline for exercise, I don't swim, and take my own towels when I know I will be showering away from home. My bed linen and pillows are also stained, so I always take spare sheets or pillows as a guest when I stay somewhere. 

Unfortunately, as we all know, being unconventional can also affect our careers. When my old boss got wind of my plans to go blue (back when I was brunette) he threatened to fire me if I went ahead. I was on a zero hours contract at the time and he was pretty crappy to most of the staff, so shortly after this I quit in favour of the pub I work in now, the manager was my boyfriend's friend, and he offered me a job regardless of my appearance. Although at the time he had super long hair and a beard! But the kind of atmosphere at our place is very laid back and casual, we are a locals' pub and every one knows us. We never even had a uniform until a month ago, and even so it's only a t-shirt and we aren't forced to wear it. Sometimes I think about what I might do if I ever had to get another job. It's a difficult one because I really don't agree with judging someone by appearance  (as long as they don't look scruffy that's what matters) and if someone didn't want me to work for them because of how I look then I wouldn't want to work for them anyway. But my opinions on work and careers are another subject entirely.

There are also people's opinions to contend with. As I have said before, I normally have nothing but compliments from most people when it comes to my appearance. You get the snarky "it's not halloween yet" comments every now and then, and there's the people who throw me a patronising back-handed compliments about wearing skulls and bats in my hair. There was this one guy who used to drink in the pub where I work, and he would always get drunk and give me the same speech about how much prettier I would be if I was "normal" and his daughter also went through this stage, she had red hair and her nose pierced you know. It was funny because I would just nod and smile along with him, and then the next time he came in he would have forgotten all about it because he was so drunk, and would proceed to give me the speech all over again.

When I went to pick my four year old sister up from school (situated in a quintessentially English village by the way) all the mums were pointing and whispering behind my back. The mother of my sister's little friend was the only one who had met me before and indiscreetly went around the playground proudly dishing out the juicy gossip surrounding us.

But since we announced a couple of months ago that we are getting married my hair has become a hot topic once again even among close friends and family who have long since become used to what I look like. "So, will you have green hair at your wedding??"
"Are you dying your hair back before you get married?"
"What colour is it going to be for the wedding? Not green surely?"

It's like just because I'm getting married I am expected to suddenly become "bridal". My leafy coloured coiffure is some how not deemed feminine enough for the mainstream ideal of how a bride should look. Even those close to me have questioned me, who outwardly seem accepting of my colour when to begin with they thought that green was an ugly colour choice. It's  as if to say, "Well this green haired stage you're going through right now, that's all very well and good but it's not really a suitable choice for a wedding is it? I mean you've had your fun with it now but you should pick something a bit more sensible for your wedding dear."

Honestly I don't know what colour it will be when we get married next year. I've been feeling like a change for a while now, so who knows!

Anybody else had these sorts of opinions to contend with? How did you handle it? 

32 comments:

  1. Very true statements indeed! Hear hear :) I stopped my purple streaks because it was a real pain in the ass to upkeep.

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    1. Glad you agree! It really is, I have the time for all the faffing with colours but it doesn't suit everybody's lifestyles

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  2. Wow, that's a lot of work you put into your hair color. I might have to rethink my idea of purple hair, cause I am really a low maintenance kind of girl :)

    Regarding people's opinions, they're just sheep following the herd. You stand out, and therefore people will notice and comment. The idea that you will have to go back to a normal color for your wedding just goes to show that everyone close to you still think you're just going through a phase, and will "grow up" and turn back to normal one day. Screw them, do your own thing! I am soon 40 years old and I have just turned back to experimenting :)

    And for the record; Your green hair is amazing!

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    1. Yeah it really is a lot of work, but I couldn't imagine giving it up because I love it so much. When I look into the mirror I see the person that I want to see, I like myself and the way it makes me feel. I am the person I always wanted to be.
      And you are right, people still like to think that its a phase I'm going through. I supose eventually they might realise.... whatever! It doesn't bother me at all! And thankyou I'm glad you like it :)

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  3. The good people don't care what you look like. I don't get a lot of dumb comments since I live in a big city, but occasionally I'd have to deal. Usually among well-to-do types. I can't be mean to them, but I don't laugh it off either. Just a cold, bored response from me is what they get. I Used to always have green hair.... Making sure to change it before St Patrick's day. Ugh.

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    1. Yeah, I get the same. I hate it when people ask if I dyed it especially for St Patrick's/halloween/Christmas. Who does that?!

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  4. I have blue hair and I have had it since 2009 in various forms, either tips and 'normal' or all over as my preference!

    I have dyed it back brown once during that time when I failed to get employed and thought that was the only reason as to why - and then I did get employed - but I hated it !

    I decided sod it- and went back to blue as its the only way i feel 'me' and luckily gained employment since in a couple of places where it really doesnt matter what my hair looks like ; because it REALLY DOESNT MATTER.

    Its crazy - my hair does not effect or change the way I work or my capabilites as a functioning adult! It just makes me more accountable for my own mistakes to be honest as Im easily remembered or pointed out .

    But still in 2015 people dont seem to realise this at all sometimes - although I do agree in certain public facing positions it can be off putting or unrepresentative of certain brands - regardless of my personal viewpoint .

    I have found that there are still people who wont want to purchase a £400 watch off someone with blue hair and prefer to spend money with someone who is a reflection of themselves .

    At some point in the near future I believe more and more places will become relaxed about it - much like the slacker regulations regarding tattoos that ive found - although ironically piercings arent more accepted . Although im only speaking from my personal limited experience haha!!

    I will have blue hair on my wedding day - I hope to have blue in my hair for decades to come ! I think if I changed my hair to a normal colour that didnt feel like 'me' I would regret it - I wouldnt feel right and therefore I wouldnt look happy and all the photos taken I would always think 'why did i do that'!!

    So if you find your one true fave colour and its neon yellow, green. or rainbow - live your truth haha!

    Sorry for the waffle! ;)

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    1. I completely agree with you. Obviously green hair may not represent most brand values but then if that was the case I probably wouldn't be working for them anyway! I only have one lip piercing now although I used to have a few, but as I work in catering/hospitality the bosses aren't that comfortable with it. But I don't chef anymore so I don't think it's an issue when all I do is pour drinks and occasionally wait tables. But yeah I would never want to compromise my true self for my wedding or my job. I would definitely look back at the photos and be disappointed!

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  5. My former employers updated their staff manual (rulebook) not long before I left, and made it an offence for staff to die their hair 'colours outside of the mainstream'. It appears that brittle yellow blond is fine but pink or purple is offensive to this supposedly diversity supporting employer. Which (amongst many other things about them) just boils my piss.

    I'm a lifelong natural redhead. I've been abused and mocked for my hair colour all my life, though not so badly now. Personally I love it, though it is hard to keep my trap shut when the woman in the chair next to you at the hairdressers speaks VERY LOUDLY asking her stylist why anyone would keep their hair red when you can dye it. The stylist was mortified. The lady left with raccoon hair.

    And your wedding? It's your day! I got married in a feather boa and silver high heels and tights (yes, there was a short dress too!). Just enjoy it and go with whatever you want. Green hair, lilac hair, blue hair - you'll look lovely whatever your crowning glory is.

    Jane (Breaking the angel)

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    1. Wow why would anyone say that about red hair? I think it's beautiful. But for some reason there is a lot of prejudice towards redheads. But I'd be pretty pissed off too if my boss suddenly changed his mind about it. Your wedding outfit sounds amazing!! I want both me and my other half to be the most authentic versions of ourselves on out wedding day.

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    2. Honestly, I was skint and had 3 weeks to prepare, we actually forgot to buy wedding rings until the day before! It was Halloween however, and all our friends turned up and ran amok round our flat with poster paint, fake spiderwebs etc. We had a graveyard painted on our living room wall, RED RUM on the stairs, broomsticks and vampire teeth for the guests. It was actually pretty amazing, considering it was so quick.

      If I did it again I'd have a much bigger gothic frock this time round. But that's the only change I'd make :)

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  6. I see green hair and a mermaid wedding dress, don't you? :)

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    1. How did you guess :3 my wedding dress is a black lace mermaid style!

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    2. OMG that's going to be amazing! :)

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  7. I love bright hair, if only I didn't have to kill my hair to get it! I am so sick of conservative hair rules in jobs, etc. Most of the compliments I have got have been from people old enough to be my mother or grandmother. People need to learn that "professional" is being redefined ! It's about the way you behave towards others, not how you choose to express yourself through hair and clothes!

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    1. Yep. You're completely right there, although I have always believed that it's your attitude that counts. I could walk into a job interview wearing a pencil skirt and a fancy French roll hair style with green hair and be better dressed than an 'ordinary' person. I'm planning on trying that olaplex bleach treatment soon, it's going to cost me a few bob but being as I've never paid for a haircut before I have decided now is the time to splurge :)

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  8. Love this post, because I'm at Uni I don't get much trouble for having purple hair but I imagine it'd be a nightmare in the job market!

    http://www.abigailalicex.com

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    1. Glad you enjoyed this post! I have done bar work since I was 18 years old and have only had one job since going bright, but I hope I won't have to find out anytime soon...

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  9. I have vampire red and black in my hair now. I've always had red though. Every shade of it in fact. I get the comments also from people about when I will be "natural" again. I haven't seen my natural red in years and I think it would really be boring now anyway. Lol. Maybe pink would be nice for your wedding? Pink or purple? The green is pretty too. Can't wait to see the dress and the hair you choose. :)

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    1. Thankyou :) and I know exactly how you feel about seeing the natural hair colour again, I feel the same about my boring brunette! I have been considering a red/purple, maybe aubergine?

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  10. You should keep the green hair, it's great
    xx
    http://retro-electric.blogspot.rs/2015/10/dark-glamour-with-punkrave-discount-code.html

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  11. I understand the whole "bridal" appearance thing. I had comments about tattoos and since I was getting a dress custom made for me, people were worried. My advice would be do what you want with your appearance for your wedding because when you look back on your pictures you will regret it if you tone it down for other people. There are times in life, in my opinion, when you have to tone it down but your own wedding is not one of them. If people give a crap about you, it should not matter what you look like at your wedding. As for employment, I have toned it down/changed my appearance to a point for this reason. I do not agree with discrimination for jobs based on appearance, but when it comes to employment it was in my best interests to do so. However, everyone's situation is different so it really depends on what job you are trying to get.

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    1. My dress is being custom made too, with the back cut right around my tattoos to show them off! It's really important to me the we be the most authentic versions of ourselves on our wedding day, I could never even consider not looking like myself. I have imagined myself in black on my wedding day probably since I was twelve years old, so that's my fairytale anyway! At the moment I don't really need another job, I work part time just to bring money in for my family. I'm not a career girl at all so my appearance shouldn't stand in the way too much

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    2. My dress is being custom made too, with the back cut right around my tattoos to show them off! It's really important to me the we be the most authentic versions of ourselves on our wedding day, I could never even consider not looking like myself. I have imagined myself in black on my wedding day probably since I was twelve years old, so that's my fairytale anyway! At the moment I don't really need another job, I work part time just to bring money in for my family. I'm not a career girl at all so my appearance shouldn't stand in the way too much

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  12. Am I the only one that can't wait to see you at your wedding 😄, your gonna look awesome! ! The wedding is about you two celebrating your love for each other not about pleasing others. Plus coloured bridal hair can look sooo hot!!! Coloured hair is everywere right now yet all of a sudden its not appropriate for a wedding.
    A friend was asking what colour hair she should do, she had a poc of either purple(dark) or brown with pale pink flashes, I immediately said purple because the other just looked pants lol and mentioned I had just got my purple colour foe my hair, her mum promptly commented "the brown and pink...it looks more classy" uuggghhhhh it wound me up as if the colour of your hair determines how 'classy' you are 😂 all I thought was "oh well I know what your mum thinks of me now'😄

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    1. Thanks lovely! Lol it's so funny when someone says something like that and doesn't even realise they'very put their foot in it! But yeah totally, it's fashionable but not bridal. Not that I'm gona look bridal anyhow... I mean I'm wearing a veil but that's it lol.

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  13. Am I the only one that can't wait to see you at your wedding 😄, your gonna look awesome! ! The wedding is about you two celebrating your love for each other not about pleasing others. Plus coloured bridal hair can look sooo hot!!! Coloured hair is everywere right now yet all of a sudden its not appropriate for a wedding.
    A friend was asking what colour hair she should do, she had a poc of either purple(dark) or brown with pale pink flashes, I immediately said purple because the other just looked pants lol and mentioned I had just got my purple colour foe my hair, her mum promptly commented "the brown and pink...it looks more classy" uuggghhhhh it wound me up as if the colour of your hair determines how 'classy' you are 😂 all I thought was "oh well I know what your mum thinks of me now'😄

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  14. hi pretty, as you i used to have violet, blue, and pink-fucsia hair, then i go brunette (bad fucking choise) and get a job, as "comsmetologist-makeup artist" at a local pharmacy, well two months ago i have blonde hair, and it just became too boring, and made some "lights" (sorry i don't know how to say it in english) in pink... quickly my mates and all staff liked it and i was too happy to put some colour in this boring blonde in the mirror :D and then... the bosses "this is a pharmacy, and that does not look good" when they hired me by my skills, and normally know that make up artist this days are haired "carzy" coloured too :( so its a shame, i come back to the roots and dye my hair in my natural colour again... i feel pretty i like, but something is missing... anyway i just do it because also is very damaged and i want it to grow... and if i'm always bleaching roots (i can't stop!!) my hair never grow :S that's my story, i really really wish to have a job and people don't get sick with style or hair colour... and any JOB! not only at alternative bar or clothing brand...
    Still our battle

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