I'm very proud of her, especially over the books part, when she brings books to me and asks me to read them too her it makes my heart swell, and I hope when she is older she will still love books as much as I do. I practically worship them, so I will be teaching her always to respect and take care of them.
I've also found myself going through a rollercoaster of emotions throughout the weekend, revisiting all the memories of that night one year ago, both the highs and the lows. I have nothing but positive and fond memories of my labour and her birth, but the following day in the hospital I didn't have such a good time at all. After five days cooped up in hospital I wanted more than anything to go home to my own bed and sleep. That night I cried and cried until they let me go home at 10pm, where Rob and I spent most of the night trying to get Reegan to breastfeed from me, with more tears and lots of anxiety over everything. I don't think anyone in our house slept that night. Rob's brother wanted to go and stay in a hotel. I wish I could go back to that night, and hug my former self, tell myself everything would be ok, because I am strong, we would persevere because I am stubborn, I would face my parenting battles and I would win.
In this one year, everything has changed, and yet it feels as if this is how it always was. I feel very lucky to have a daughter like Reegan, being her mama has taught me so much about myself and about life. I have grown. I know now what I want out of life and being a mother has given me the drive to go out and get it.
|Weating her Ladybug hat crocheted by an old friend of mine.|