Monday, 17 August 2015

One year of little bean

On Saturday my daughter Reegan turned one, my little baby bean, no longer a little baby. I still don't know where the time has gone, I am in awe of the transformation she has gone through in just twelve short months. She is now a functioning human being, a real tiny human! I mean she has been all along, but she is nowhere near as dependent on me as she once was. She can just about walk now, she says lots of words (her first was "dog", how could it not be!) she can use a fork without too much difficulty and she loves books.

I'm very proud of her, especially over the books part, when she brings books to me and asks me to read them too her it makes my heart swell, and I hope when she is older she will still love books as much as I do. I practically worship them, so I will be teaching her always to respect and take care of them.

I've also found myself going through a rollercoaster of emotions throughout the weekend, revisiting all the memories of that night one year ago, both the highs and the lows. I have nothing but positive and fond memories of my labour and her birth, but the following day in the hospital I didn't have such a good time at all. After five days cooped up in hospital I wanted more than anything to go home to my own bed and sleep. That night I cried and cried until they let me go home at 10pm, where Rob and I spent most of the night trying to get Reegan to breastfeed from me, with more tears and lots of anxiety over everything. I don't think anyone in our house slept that night. Rob's brother wanted to go and stay in a hotel. I wish I could go back to that night, and hug my former self, tell myself everything would be ok, because I am strong, we would persevere because I am stubborn, I would face my parenting battles and I would win.

In this one year, everything has changed, and yet it feels as if this is how it always was. I feel very lucky to have a daughter like Reegan, being her mama has taught me so much about myself and about life. I have grown. I know now what I want out of life and being a mother has given me the drive to go out and get it.


Weating her Ladybug hat crocheted by an old friend of mine.


10 comments:

  1. Happy birthday little bean. She is adorable!

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  2. Aww, Happiest of Birthdays, Reegan. Lex, on this day, one year ago, you gave birth to a bouncing baby girl. Congratulations! (((HUGS)))

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  3. Sorry for responding late. Your Reaegan is beautiful, it increaable to think how fast she has developed. She's a right cutie

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  5. Hope it was a great birthday!

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  6. Happy birthday to your girl and to you, too, since you probably did all the work! It is great that she inspires you! I love that her first word was dog!

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  7. such a cute girl, happy belated birthday!

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  8. ohhh what a cutie :D Beautiful girl :)

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